She was one of my closest friends right from first year in high school. She was smart. She was funny. She was a friend. Together, we found humour in situations unimaginable and had made the world whatever it was in our dreams. It took six years to finally realise what I had missed out in our friendship. If I could go back in time to tell her three beautiful words, her life would have been changed forever. When she expressed it first in senior year, we thought she was being her usual overly worried self and laughed it off. I see now that I should have realised that her sigh was not usual and neither was how she stared hard at the floor or how quiet she had remained during our walk to the bus station to catch a bus.
Six years from then, I figure I should simply have told her on an annoying Monday morning and other random times:
You are beautiful.
She had mentioned that she didn’t think herself beautiful enough to have received a silly proposal by age 15. She had expressed in unspoken words that she needed someone to let her know that beyond the crazy and silly child that we thought she was, we felt her charming. Later when one vagabond was bold enough to state the obvious, it felt like the heavens opening up to her. She had been noticed and that was all that mattered. What she is now isn’t something to be spoken about. Her plea to be noticed was heard at the wrong time and opened doors to a story which will most definitely have a sad-advice-to-the-future-generation ending.
Next time I meet you, I’d be sure to notice that your eye twitches when you’re surprised or that your smile is loveliest when you’re praised or that you look most charming in purple or that your nose is one I would pay to get in a surgery. I’d be sure to show to you the personality Jesus who would remind you of how special you are each and every day, so that their compliments would simply add to the number and never be the first and so sweep you off your feet. I’m sorry I took this long to notice you.
Without a doubt, even if I’m now just a part of the number, from the very beginning you’ve always been amazing.