She had listened to too many stories not to be warned. She had heard the tales of those who had given themselves wholeheartedly to unknown values like trust, hope and love. She had seen some slowly shut down the world around them and others have a glow in their eyes that still had faith in a better tomorrow. Who was she? She was a smart girl who believed history was meant to teach a lesson. She would learn as fast as she could.
The new her
The only thing that mattered to her was her. Really, it was just her. She could fake emotions for those that looked like necessities because she could and that would be it. She would be strong, she would rarely cry, she was untouchable. Perfect decision, right? Wrong! She did not feel strong and neither did she feel smart. She couldn’t get as excited as the other vulnerables and she couldn’t feel much of anything. The only description for her current situation was emptiness.
She figured then, that the definition of weakness she had not known was, refusing to give it your all because you were afraid and that was what she, along with other acclaimed unemotional others were. Ironically, they were the weak ones and those with tears in their eyes were the strong ones.
Life was an all-risk or nothing game. Nothing like giving it just a part of you. The saviour sure knew that principle and had been trying to get her to understand it. He gave His all because that was the only way out. Loving to the fullest was the option that competed with losing to the maximum.
He chose the best and so would she.